Long Night
by McDLUV
Summary: A post season seven one shot. My opinion on what should have happened to Meredith and Derek. Read and review.


Chapter 1

Derek left me, he seriously_ left me_. With a baby. Another human, and one that wears diapers. And cries and needs to be fed. And now I have Cristina to worry about because Owen kicked her out. Because she's pregnant. The world hates me that everyone with a fucking pulse is pregnant but me. Damn my hostile uterus.

Today was the worst day ever, Derek left, Alex left. Everyone is gone. I feel empty, and its partially my fault. Okay, all my fault. I know what I did was dumb, but I had my reasons. I couldn't watch Adele go through what my mother did. I just can't do it again.

But I guess Derek is right too, I killed his trial. His maybe award winning trial. Possibly a new 'Shepherd Method.' And I completely destroyed it. God I'm tired of thinking, I should be sleeping. I need sleep, because as crazy as it sounds, I have a baby now. But I cant sleep without Derek. His side of the bed is empty, and I just can't seem to fall asleep. I miss him. I even miss his lame jokes and morning breath. Damn Derek, damn the trial, damn me.

Just as soon as I was going to fall asleep, I heard a knock at the door. What? I quickly looked at the clock, 2:30. Why kind of person comes at 2:30? I reluctantly made my way out of the bedroom and down the stairs. As I opened the door I saw a very tired and drunk Derek. With tears covering his face. I've never seen Derek cry, and frankly its killing me. His cheeks and the tip of his nose were red, and his hair was crazy. But through all of that, he was as beautiful as ever.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, trying my hardest to sound harsh.

"I- I couldn't sleep without you, you ruined me."

_Him too? _

"Come in, but be quiet because Cristina is here," I said, but quickly continued when I saw the confused look on his face."Fight with Owen, and yes I know it's ironic."

I turned around and walked to the living room and sat on the couch, waiting for Derek to join me. He came and sat down right next to me. We sat silently for a couple of minutes, and I would be lying if I said it wasn't akward.

After a couple of minutes I decided it was only right to tell him about Zola. I mean even though hes mad and im mad, he is still her father. And my husband. But when I opened my mouth to say something, he beat me to it.

"I tried to sleep at the house, but I couldn't. And then I went to Joe's. But I couldn't stay there either. Mer, we need to talk."

"Yeah we do" I agreed.

"Why? I mean I know why, but why Mer?" he asked.

"Derek, I couldn't watch Adele go through what my mother went through, disappearing before my eyes," I explained.

"But I've worked so hard," Derek said as he stood up and started pacing. I knew it was so he can try to keep his cool. Derek liked screaming, but he was trying his hardest not to.

"I know I'm sorry I ruined your maybe Harper Avery award winning trial Derek."

"Damn it Meredith, its not about the fucking award," Derek nearly yelled.

"Okay so if your still so mad why did you show up, so you can yell?" I questioned, stopping his pacing. He didn't answer, only rubbed his face with his hands. I stood up next to him, and took the oppurtunity and continued. " And your drunk Derek, and I called you a dozen times."

"Post-it" he mumbled.

"What?" I asked, even though I heard what he said, I just can't understand how he can leave, then call Post-it.

"Fucking Post-It Meredith" he said.

"I dont understand what the Post-it has to do with this."

"To love you even when I hate you, No running."

"Okay so now you hate me?" I said, I was furious. Here I am thinking he came to apologize and he's here to tell me he hates me? I turned away from him and walked to the front door, opening it. "You can leave now Derek, forget Post-it. I'm letting you ru-"

But before I can finish my sentence Derek quickly turned me around, and before I knew it his lips came crashing down on mine. He pushed me up against the front door and kissed me with so much passion. I started to forget what happened, I focused on the feeling of his lips on mine. But Derek pulled back when I tried to deepen the kiss. He took a step back, and I could see the anger in his eyes.

"Meredith if I hated you, I wouldn't be here. Damn, if I hated you I wouldn't be this mad."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"You don't get it. This isn't about the awards, the fame or even the 'Shepherd Method'. Screw all that. This is about you." He said pointing at me. " Meredith, I know you don't want Adele to be your mother. But I don't want you to be her either. And I dont want to be Richard. I can't Meredith, " he said as freah tears started rolling out of his eyes.

He sat down with his back to the front door, and buried his head in his lap. I felt the guilt almost crush me. This wasn't even about the clinical trial, this is about me. The cure that would save me. And I just killed it. I broke him.

I joined him on the floor, and put my hand on his shoulder and tried to soothe him.

I did this to him, and he still showed up._ No running_.

He still loves me. _To love you, even when I hate you_.

He cried for a couple minutes and then I heard him say it, "Mer, I love you."

"Derek, your mad because now you can't cure me?"

"Why do you think I worked my ass to get the grant? And the only reason I did this clinical trial is for you. I can't be Richard, Meredith. I can't watch my wife disappear. I can't watch the love of my life forget me. But I'm not running. Im here to stay. Because you are my wife, the love of my life. And I promised that If you get Alzheimers and forgot me, I'll remind you every day," he said all while sniffling.

"Derek, I'm sorry, I dont know what else to say, but I couldn't live knowing I got the cure and it was too late for Adele."

"Okay, but Mer I didn't mean it," he said.

"Mean what" I asked, confused.

"You'll be a great mom, sorry I was a jackass," he said.

"I know Derek, I know."

Then I looked into his eyes and saw the love looking back at me. I couldn't help but kiss him. My hand shot to the back of his neck and I pushed his lips towards mine. I kissed him with everything I had, I wanted him to feel how sorry I was, and just how much I love him. I felt his hands on my back. He started gently pushing me so that I was on the floor and he was on top of me. And the he -

**Crap**. We heard a baby cry. _Zola_.

Dereks head shot up and I can see the confusion written all over his handsome face.

"What was that?" he asked.

I chuckled, "they gave me partial custody of Zola."

"Seriously? like Seriously?" he said, obviously mocking my signature line.

I laughed. "Yes seriously," I said getting up and pulling him up with me. "Oh but never say that agian, thats my line. You can't use my line on me. Now come see our daughter."

I looked back as I forcefully pulled him up the stairs and he was smiling. Damn that smile was sexy. This is going to be a long night, but a good one.


End file.
